Writing From the Right Side of the Stall

Mucking stalls. Freelance writing. How do they differ? I discuss.

My Favourite Spam

Am I the only one amused by the fractured English in the spontaneously refilling WordPress spam folder?

And am I the only one who tucks the best ones away in my little treasure chest?

Probably.  But I’m gonna share anyway, cuz I’m perverse like that.

If I collect enough of these, I may end up with that Great Canadian Novel I’ve been bemoaning the absence of.

The Magnificent Publish:  “That is really exciting, You’re an exceedingly specialized writer. We’ve joined the feed and stay up with regard to seeking added of the magnificent publish.”  — March 6, 2012

Oh, Zayn, Wherefore Art Thou?:  “Boyfriend Will Be Perfect if his name is Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan, Liam Payne or Zayn Malik.”  –March 12, 2012

Try It, I Dare You:  “Usually I don’t post on blogs, but I desire to say that this post quite forced me to try and do so!”  — from “Mushroom Substrate Ratio”,March 15, 2012

Incessant Shakiness All Over:  “I loved up to you’ll receive carried out proper here. The comic strip is attractive, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an shakiness over that you would like be delivering the following. sick for sure come further beforehand once more as precisely the similar nearly very incessantly within case you protect this increase.” –March 20, 2012

But Is It Utile Enough?:  “I adore forgathering utile information , this post has got me even more info!” —March 27, 2012

Thanks for the All the Fish … and the Entropy:  “Dead pent articles , thanks for entropy.” –March 27, 2012

Magnificent A Lot:  “I have learn several good stuff here. Certainly value bookmarking for revisiting. I wonder how a lot effort you set to create this type of magnificent informative website.” –March 27, 2012

Looking Forward to Touch You, Too:  “Tremendous things here. I’m very glad to peer your article. Thanks so much and I’m looking forward to touch you. Will you please drop me a e-mail?” – April 12, 2012

To Obtain, Perchance to Accomplish:  “Aw, this was a seriously good post. In idea I’d prefer to put in writing like this furthermore – taking time and actual effort to make a very very good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate alot and by no signifies appear to obtain a thing accomplished.” –May 7, 2012

Is “Ook” a Euphemism for Something?:  “Last van erectiestoornissen? Dan is Viagra echt iets voor jou! Wil je direct informatie? Dankan dat natuurlijk ook!” – May 11, 2012

Baby Got Back:  “Soon after research numerous with the content material in your web website now, and i also truly such as your way of blogging. I book-marked it to be able to my book mark internet site list and are checking out back before long.”  – June 6, 2012

Got better ones?  Be generous.  Share.  Minus the links to erectile dysfunction drugs, please.

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8 thoughts on “My Favourite Spam

  1. I just checked my spam box and omg what a nonsense. The best one I found was:

    “Nice post. I be taught something tougher on totally different blogs everyday. It can always be stimulating to read content material from different writers and observe just a little one thing from their store. I’d desire to make use of some with the content on my weblog whether or not you don’t mind. Natually I’ll provide you with a hyperlink in your net blog. Thanks for sharing.”

    Whether or not I don’t mind. Priceless.

    I also did a piece on Mexican dentists so I got:

    “hi!,I love your writing very so much! share we keep up a correspondence extra approximately your post on AOL? I need an expert in this house to unravel my problem. May be that’s you! Having a look ahead to see you.”

    Feel free to react :-)

    Btw: ook is Dutch for also; just in case you really wanted to know…

    • I know, all my Mexican dentist postings get that same message. ;-)

      Appreciate the translation. Please don’t translate the rest of it, though — the gist is fairly obvious, even if I do find Dutch particularly impenetrable. (I’m sure “ook” doesn’t sound ridiculous at all when delivered with authority and the right accent.)

      • You are right! Authority and accent do the trick!
        I never found Dutch that hard (being a Dutchie and all), but I can totally understand you think it is impenetrable. And really, we like it that way :-)

  2. lol….. you have just given me a new appreciation for spam…. thank you = )

  3. Amazing! They almost remind me of Kanye West tweets. My spam is just plain gibberish. Not even funny gibberish.

  4. john on said:

    my spam is slowly being swept away by sweep, what hotmail uses to allow you to block things, i enjoyed your examples but cannot be bothered opening my mail to read them so maybe i had messages that would have made life changing suggestions that i really needed , but maybe not, now i will never know,thanks anyway for opening up yours and revealing what i missed or might have missed.. maybe i just have less worthy spam-mers

  5. Bob Goddard on said:

    I should wish to declare this individual of wisdom got it fantastically right, man:

    “Fantastic items from you, man. I have study your own stuff ahead of as well as you are equally well incredible. I like exactly what youve got right here, really like what youre declaring and the way a person say this. You are making this entertaining and you even now have the ability to help keep this wise. We cant wait around to undergo additional from you. That is really an incredible weblog.”

    Although, he did sound a little impatient toward the end.

    Funny stuff, Karen!

  6. OMG, that one’s equally well incredible, Bob.

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